Every time I ride the bus I have to revisit the revolting smell of the modern peasant. The smell is a moist dirty invasive smell with hints of stale beer, old coffee, unwashed bodies and perspiration. Bold notes of urine, dirty clothes and sometimes smells so vile and unpleasant I dare not commit their description into print. Resistance is futile.

It is a trap. Once on the bus I try to source the safest seats; this is the best strategy to avoid unwanted travel companions. I first assess my surroundings and then navigate my way to the safest riding spot. I am always careful not to touch anything at all EVER.

Like clockwork, the stinkiest craziest person always finds me and sits right next to me. The stinkiest person often tries to start up a conversation with me about some sort of peasant matter like beer cans or food stamps or sports, pets, whatever. They may as well be pulling my heart out of my chest and eating it.

Inevitability to distract my self from the unpleasantness I begin looking at the ads on the bus; Debt Problems, Over Weight, Need Glasses, Free Sex Clinic, Get an Education, Criminal Record, Acne Prone Skin? I start wondering what kind of people are riding the bus. I take a good look around me. Yep it all makes sense! Poor uneducated over weight people with failing vision and bad skin, that have a criminal record and need sex advice as well as an education.

-The end-