I’m 6 or maybe 7 years old and I’ve lost my tooth. My tooth was in my mouth living in harmony with my other teeth and now it is a bloody little white pebble that lives in a cup (for safe keeping, of course). My mother tells me that if I put the tooth under my pillow that the tooth fairy will stealthily sneak in at night and leave me money in exchange for my tooth. I am curious why anyone would want my used tooth, and suspect that the tooth fairy needs it as an ingredient in one of her potions or brews, like the ones I make in the yard with mud and sticks and water and other stuff that I find.

My mother says that the tooth fairy is kind; she is a magic fairy that collects children’s teeth and this frightens me. My mother insists that the tooth must go under my pillow or the tooth fairy won’t come. I ask my dad how much the tooth fairy gives and proudly show him my tooth in a cup. My father inspects the tooth as if it were a precious gem or rare stone. He tells me that my tooth is worth at least two dollars. My eyes grow round with the now real possibility of sugar.

Two dollars is two chocolate bars. or two Coca-Colas or one chocolate bar and one Coca-Cola or 40 sugar berries. I am now very excited and decide that I will happily part with my tooth for two dollars!  I determine that I can’t possibly sleep with a cup under my pillow and must construct a special envelope at once of paper, tape, glue and lots of sparkles. Nighttime seems forever away but eventually it comes and I place the tooth envelope under my pillow and I try to stay awake along as I can. I should mention that I share the bedroom with my little brother and that we live in the woods on a small island.  I awake to a rustling sound on the porch beside my room. It sounds like the cats or raccoons but I start to think that it might be a monster

and as I think that the doorknob to the porch starts to turn very slowly. I freeze. I don’t dare make a sound. My brother is still sleeping.
And then the door opens and cold air rushes into the room and a large black being enters the room. I start to scream, I scream my little fucking head off and then the thing turns the light on. It is all black and has layers and layers of scary looking clothing and instead of hair it has plastic shiny ribbon and it comes over to me and says shhhhhhh shhhhhh shhhhhhha and then I really lose my mind and my brother is screaming and I am screaming and everything is frightening and happening fast. The being takes off its scary plastic hair and I see that it is my mother. She has taken off most of her costume and trying her best to calm me down. Now all the lights are on and the whole family is in the room, my dad is calming my brother down and I have the cry thing and can’t stop crying. Eventually I do stop and my mother explains that there is really no such thing as the tooth fairy and it was her all along and that I will still get money for my tooth and everything is going to be OK.

And that’s how I learned that the tooth fairy was not real.

-the end-