Farting is a natural and daily occurrence. I fart every day, sometimes even twice a day. I often let one rip when I’m relaxed and I feel safe; nobody lets one squeak out when they are nervous or feeling threatened. Fact: this is elementary human farting mechanics.

I got to wondering about yoga classes. When someone’s feeling relaxed and safe, warm and stretched out on the floor, it would be easy for a little bugger to sneakily slip out. Prime farting conditions. Do people just let one fly out in an audible display of gassy release? Is it common in a yoga class to feel a little gassy?

I’m thinking a classic “yogi” diet consisting of things like lentils, granola, yogurt, kale, all mixed together and washed down with some wheatgrass juice or coconut water (fair trade organic) all bubbling away, festering, plotting to make their evil escape…

Vancouver yogis have three other distinct traits: tiny phones, tiny pants, and tiny dogs. Tiny everything (except a HUGE mortgage). Their tiny teeny little dogs have tiny teeny little doggy farts. When these little fussy fur balls eek out their organic, raw food, foul little doggie farts, even the most Botoxed face will show some sort of movement.

-the end-